Several things struck me as I watched these films. I watched a 7 or 8 year old me get very upset that I'd gotten water on my shorts and couldn't immediately go change them, and listened to my patient mother's voice from behind the camera try to talk sense into me. I was being absurd; I was out on on a paddle boat in a body of water in the summertime. But, apparently I thought my shorts would remain clammy and clinging to my thighs for all of eternity. I've had the same conversation with my oldest child, and tried to tell him his clothes would dry in no time. It's nice outside, it will be fine! So, it reminded me to let some things go even when I
As I watched everyone sitting around and birthday parties and Christmas gatherings, it seemed to me that folks seemed relaxed. That one of my cousins, a teenager at the time, didn't mind sitting there, watching me unwrap a present, in fact, he appeared to be enjoying himself. I could be completely off base of course, but anyway, it made me stop and think. I need to host more family gatherings, enjoy myself as best as possible while doing so, and drag my kids around to all sort of relatives' homes, sans any electronic gaming devices.
Lastly, I saw my dad and his friends horsing around on some death trap mobiles called odysseys and an old timey car with the mention of wine having been consumed. My parent were certainly parents, but they were also having a good time. This has also happened when I've looked at snap shot photographs: Did my parents know what they were doing? Or did they feel like they were flying by the seat of their bell bottoms just like I feel (though insert skinny jeans into this image when considering me)? More importantly, if they did feel like they'd lost my owner's manual, did they obsess over it? Probably not, since I don't think there was an entire section devoted to parenting at bookstores back in the day.
Here is how it goes:
When you are a kid, a little kid say under the age of 12, you think your parents know everything there is to know about everything. You might think they are big meanies from time to time, but overall, you think they are the bee's knees.The cat's meow. The shiznit. Then you take algebra in the 7th grade and need help with your homework, and a tiny hole is ripped in the facade since they can't help you with this newfangled arithmetic.
Then you become a teenager, and your parents don't know anything. All their years of life experience are so far removed from your own that they can't possibly offer insight into anything. Ever. They exist in a parellel universe and aren't really human. That is, until you go to college or go out and get a full time job.
Well, you start learning about the world outside your hometown, start to put a few of your own life experiences under your belt, and you have an epiphany: Dude, mom and dad WERE RIGHT about a few things. How did I miss this before? And if you are me, you think to yourself, "oh man, was I an asshole?".
Fast forward about 10 years: you have your own family now. Visions of your parents cackling wildly at your misfortunes begin to appear in pools of baby spit up. "AH HA HA! I TOLD YOU SO". You wonder if your mother handled thing differently, or dare I say better, than you when she was a new mother. My oldest chatters NONSTOP, and I have a feeling that I did too. How did my mother not drink herself to death?!
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most parents feel, at least part of the time, like they don't know what they are doing and that they are probably messing up their children for good.I'm betting that has passed through the minds of every caveman, every poor schmuck born in the dark ages, every Victorian; you get the picture. But how we deal with that insecurity is what I am interested in. Actually, what I care about is this: Will my kids look at snapshots of them with us and will it be totally obvious that I was winging it? ;)
